Hi guys, this is my very first blog post on my personal website, and I'd like to share the insights I've gained from reading The Courage to Be Disliked by Fumitake Koga and Ichiro Kishimi. I hope to eventually post a YouTube video about this, and I'll include the link here if it ever comes out [INSERT LINK].
Personally, this book has profoundly impacted my approach to life. Many of my personal philosophies echoed in this book, and I was surprised to find that ideas formed by Adlerian Philosophy a century ago are still relevant today. Although I've never detailed my thoughts before, reading through this book helped solidify certain philosophies I practice daily.
The book unfolds through a series of dialogues in a philosopher's study room, where a youth, disgruntled with life, engages in multiple long conversations with the philosopher. Here are my top 5 takeaways:
- Trauma Does Not Exist
The philosopher mentioned that trauma is objective, not subjective. That it did happen, but it's what we do after that matters. In the past, I blamed myself for my poor grades, opportunity rejections, and problems. The book taught me that trauma doesn't matter; it's our response that counts. It contrasts Freud's focus on causes with Adler's focus on purpose. I realized I chose unhappiness because it was easier to blame my circumstances than face uncertainty. This helped me see that clinging to negative experiences feels safer than risking change.
- All Problems are Interpersonal Problems
The book emphasizes that all issues stem from interpersonal relationships. Feelings of inferiority, for example, are subjective and often arise from our interactions with others. Recognizing this can help us better manage our feelings and relationships. This idea suggests that many of our issues stem from how we relate to others. By understanding and improving our interpersonal relationships, we can address many of our personal problems.
- Freedom is Willing to Be Disliked by Others
True freedom involves the courage to be disliked. This concept suggests that living authentically, even at the risk of others' disapproval, is key to personal liberation. Being truly free means being willing to face disapproval. This doesn't mean being reckless, but rather living in a way that is true to ourselves, even if it means not everyone will like us.
- Happiness = Work on Self + Contribute to Community
Happiness is a balance between self-improvement and contributing to the community. It's important to pursue personal growth while also making meaningful contributions to society. Balancing personal development with community contribution leads to a more fulfilling life. It's not just about self-improvement but also about how we positively impact those around us.
- Live Life as Moments (Dots), Not Paths (Lines)
Life should be seen as a series of moments rather than a continuous path. This perspective encourages us to appreciate each moment without being overly fixated on the past or future. Viewing life as a collection of moments allows us to appreciate the present. Instead of seeing life as a long, continuous journey, this approach helps us find joy in the here and now.
Now, I'm sure some of these key points might raise a few eyebrows. I encourage you to keep an open mind as you read through the book.
Thank you for joining me, and I hope these reflections inspire you as much as they have inspired me.
